I still believe therefore I'll stay calm




I have so much to say but I don’t know how start. I have so much to explain but I don’t know how to tell. I have so much to share but I don’t know how to express.

But I’ll try. Let me try.

***

This is too much for me; I might be too much for you.

But it’s alright. I’ll carry on, I’ll adjust, I’ll ignore for you and for everybody’s sake.

I don’t want to defend myself for I had done wrong things and offended several people because of being too blind and insensitive. I am sorry. I really am sorry.

These past few days, I have been struggling so hard to show the other side of me. The one that requires effortless gestures. The one that everybody used to know. The one that’s real and true.

But it seems like you haven’t recognize my changes. I still can’t prove to you that I’m worth it.

I’m full of sadness, of pain, of allegation, of depreciation. But I’m not going to do any, anything that will wound you inside.

I am hurt, you know. But I will still smile. I said I will ignore, and I will definitely do that with the help of my sense of control.

I ignored the things you’ve said before. I’m ignoring the things I have read by you now. And I will ignore all the things you’d say the next days.

I know right from the start that these stuffs will welcome me and will leave a pain on my chest. I believe I will be dealing with these effects all throughout the making.

I’ll pray that all the things I’d do and all the things you’d do, won’t lead me to despair.

Let us help each other. Guess that would be all.

***

Crying. Hoping. Praying.

0 sweet lime/s: