Playing with words

In this kind of civil war
Hope is less for salvation
Locked hearts exists between superiors
A clear vision of tomorrow is nowhere to be found

Money. Great Power.
They ruled the world
The beginning of never-ending chaos
The two that must be controlled

Inside, I saw a Presbyterian
Shirring the altar.
Die-hard of what she believed

That one day this dark nation will be brighten
People will no longer be frightened
Tears will never be shed
Sacrifices will mend

That's all I ever wanted

It was four consecutive years since he left for good. And now, after the painful goodbyes and the lonely cries, he’s eventually back. We were totally surprised by his presence. He never told us that he’d come back on that very day. Or neither called us to pick him up on the port area. He went home without any sign. But it doesn’t matter at all. As long as he’s with us again, everything’s well.

Days passed so fast. We were so happy until one day, an uninvited and imprudent and insensitive and brainless creature came in and ruin the most priceless possession I have.

I could hear the silent painful cries of Mama. We were all shattered. Little brother’s always crying. And I was always crying too. We can’t imagine how Papa could ever do such. But according to him, it was all because of the difficulties he encountered, that was the only reason why he did that.

I don’t know how to fully understand and accept it. But I have to. I’m denying so hard, please forgive me. I just don’t want a broken family.

Now, everything about it is moderately fine. I know problems do really arise. I just hope the pain’s going to heal so soon. And God will let us forget the aches, and start another chapter of our lives together.

A complete and happy family. That’s all I ever wanted.

One Big Responsibility

It was a year ago when I had my first evaluation with my eyes blind-folded, and was sited in front of the staffs that were in a semi-circle position. Frightened, I continued to answer their questions but remained so conscious with myself and with the words I have uttered.

Back then, I could still remember the BIG question I never knew I would be asked about (or most probably, every one of us was actually asked about that. Loading!). Some untrue and unbelievable and intriguing questions were also asked from me. (Whoa! Help!)

After a year of hard work and persistence, I was able to make it. I became one of them. At last! I can already prove to everyone that I can be a part of a BIG university organization like this; at last! I can already take flight to a brand new place and meet new set of friends; at last! My dream has finally come true. Thanks to YOU. Ü

My stay in Pylon is far more different from any other organizations in school. Hell yeah! It’s beyond compare! The tasks given were super fun though tiring. The big events and activities are must-awaiting. The benefits and incentives are so inviting. I can never imagine how blessed I am to have a lifetime opportunity like this. This wonderful thing is indeed a very big advantage for me.

Few weeks ago, I was called by Ate Janjie and Markzz regarding some serious and important matters. We met at Chantilly then. There, the most unexpected thing happened.

I was chilled and I got stunned. God, I was so speechless. I didn’t know what to say. (Lord, why? But thank you! Thank you so much.) That was all that was running through my head. Seconds after, I finally said yes and shook my head up. I pressed my cheeks and felt the tears that were about to come out but I really tried not to let it fall down. (Whoa! This is it! This is really is it! Lord, you mean, I’ll lead the big group? You mean, I’ll be the next EIC na jud? Waaaaaaa! Bitaw Lord uyy, thank you jud kaayo ani. Thank you for entrusting me the whole team, thank you for believing in my capacity, thank you for the great opportunity.) Another random thought in my mind.

I also would like to thank the Pylonites, most especially Ma’am Beth, Ate Janjie, Markzz, and all the Department heads for allowing me to run the group and for believing that I can do it despite all my negativities.

And so, I suppose this is the start of the next big phenomenon. I guess I should admit that I’ve achieved another thing. And yes, I’ve bloomed now. Thank you Lord! You’ve really brought out what’s in me. I love you! I owe this to you. I’ll do everything I can to repay the goodness you gave. Be with me as I take the lead. Ü

Damn Pretender

You were there
Sitting like nothing happened
Talking like you’ve never hurt
Telling me that I don’t deserve

I was here
Walking like a lonely stray cat
Finding reasons why you did that
Keeping these tears from falling, but…

Go on! Don’t ever come back
Move on! Never let me see any glimpse of you
Gel lost! You damn pretender
You’ll never know what you’ve got
‘Til you realize how I was so important

They were there
Looking at you, looking at me
Asking what happened to our story
Wanting us to get back and build another memory

We were here
Blaming on each other why it ended too soon
Crying like this can never be fixed
Pretending so real ‘cause we know we can never go back


She walks along these empty streets
Carrying nothing but her shattered dreams
She thought she’d never lose him
But one day she did.

She noticed her tears falling
But she never stopped believing
She said one day you’d come back
And realize how much she means to you

She can’t find her way out
She’s haunted by everything about you
Why can’t you seem to understand?
What she feels now are exactly like yours
She’s Broken, So Broken

You’re messages where still there
She never deleted those instead re-reads them
Can’t you remember the things you’ve told her?
If you do, then let me tell you once more

She can’t find her way out
She’s haunted by everything about you
Why can’t you seem to understand?
What she feels now are exactly like yours
She’s Broken, So Broken

She stands along the pouring rain
Thinking of how she could stop the pain
She missed how you were before
But what else can she do?
It’s over. So over.


I've been through the shed tears, the shattered feeling, and the heartrending situation. I’ve been crying every night, I’ve been sympathizing my heart being torn into million pieces, and I’ve been living every day with aches. I’ve been chasing happiness since it happened, but I can’t seem to find it. I don’t know how to hit upon the way out. It’s too hard. But I made up a deal with myself. I need to carry on. I have to go on no matter how much I wanted to stay.