Of chances and becoming better

The rain has stopped. Yet I’m still here pouring, gasping the air, trying to breathe from the awful words you said.

I was trying so hard not to tell anyone. But destiny prevailed. They don’t want me to just keep quiet. They want me to learn how to be matured because they know how you press me to be this and that.

Have you been into this world? Where everybody thinks that you’re the only one to be blamed for all other people’s mistakes? Perhaps not. Well, let me tell you how it feels.

I’ve never been too strict and too possessive when it comes to dealing with different personalities in a certain group. Not when I was chosen to lead a big group with personalities raise to the tenth power. Much more different than the previous groups I have led.

But every ideas shared, every moments spent, and every tears shed, are absolutely worth it. I’m not counting all the quick remarks from anyone inside the group because I am willing to accept everything. It’s part of being a leader. I greatly accepted that as a challenge, not as a discomfort on my part.

Yet when you are being spoken naughty words from a person you have learned to love and trust, how can you not possibly get hurt? I have learned base on my own experience that no matter how you say to yourself that you are strong enough to breakdown and cry, time will set you to a moment when all you have to do is to express what you really feel. That is the time when you truly squeeze out the real sentiments that wounds you inside.

I believe that being immature sometimes helps you with your problems. You may include crying on my adjective above. But for me, crying really does help. I would actually say I always cry when I know it’s the only way to beat the pain.

But you know there’s still a chance for us to change- to change all things that we realized now that we know what we’re causing to most of our people. How they just bear the pain and sadness they’re feeling just to make sure we won’t erupt like we always do.

There’s still a chance for you and me to change. Let's be open-minded. May the peace and Holy Spirit enlighten us both. I really am hoping for a better you. Leave to me the changes in me that you want to see. I’ll work out for it. Let’s be a better person for ourselves and for the rest of the team.